“You’re So Brave!”

This is another comment that I’ve heard frequently from friends, family and random people before and since moving to Ecuador and my answer is, “No, I’m not!”  There are many people who love to live a life of adventure.  Who long for an opportunity to sell everything and move to a different country (or who do).  People who “fly by the seat of their pants,” who never plan but just figure things out as they go along, who thrive on taking the “road less traveled.”  I know and admire many of them – and I am not one of them!!!  Those of you who know me well, know I am a recovering (quite nicely, thank you) control freak.  In my personal nature I like things organized, planned, scheduled, safe, dependable and predictable (and by the way, life in Ecuador is anything BUT these things!)  To sell everything and move to a country I’ve never even been to would be just about the last thing on my “bucket list” of life experiences.

So what I have is not bravery, but faith.  It took God three years to convince me I was hearing from Him and He was serious about what He was calling me to do and it took another two for me to “get my house in order” to actually do it.  There are times when I mentally step back and look at myself and am astounded at what I have done/am doing – because it is so NOT me!  But I have walked with God long enough to totally trust Him with everything in my life and know that, although not always easy, His plans for me are always better than anything I could plan for myself.  I dare to believe His promise that “in losing my life for His sake, I will find it.” (Matthew 10:39)   As was said about Aslan the lion in C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, when Susan asked Mr. Beaver if he was safe, his answer was – “Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good.”

Most of the people I meet here who expatriate are adventurers – they very much chose the life they are living here – I did not.  What I did do some time ago was dare to give God my whole life with no agenda of my own – one hundred percent sold out, trusting Him with everything and telling Him that I would do anything and everything He called me to do.  Well, on second thought – maybe that does make me brave after all!