Earlier this week, I was talking with a good friend and sharing with her some of my “wrestlings” regarding trusting God for provision in the days ahead. Her comment was, “I had no idea you wrestled!” I told her of course I do – although I shouldn’t. I’ve seen God provide for me in so many amazing ways in my life, including all the incredible things He did to bring me here. Plus, I know the truth of His word that tells me over and over He will provide. But sometimes the truth I know in my head doesn’t line up with what I’m feeling in my soul, especially when I see how much less I have in my bank account following so many unexpected financial issues. I hear Him tell me the same truth He’s said before – “What do you think I put the money there for and don’t you think I can build it right back up again?” He reminds me that many people throughout the world truly have to rely on Him for DAILY provision and that indeed I’m “worth more than many sparrows.” (Matthew 10:31)
I am humbled when I look at my little friend, Duver. He has one of the purest hearts and most child-like faiths of anyone I know. This man is in tears on his knees daily for many burdens the Lord has put on His heart – especially the salvation of souls. And the Lord really hears his prayers. I myself have been a recipient of answers to his requests in faith. He is truly like Daniel – one who is “highly esteemed” by God. (Daniel 9:23) This precious man lives with so very little, yet he is content and full of faith in God’s goodness and provision. He constantly reminds me of James 2:5 – “Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith…?”
I’ve begun to believe maybe God is dealing with me as He did Gideon (Judges 7) and allowing things to be “whittled down” to a point that I can no longer look to anything for security but Him (especially my bank account). I continue to see many storms brewing on the horizon (including possibly one of, if not the worst predicted El Niños in recorded history – which actually originates here and usually brings our normally desert-like area, months of disastrously torrential rainfall). I’ve said it over and over, but I still have to continue to remind myself as well, that the only “commodity” that will see us through the days ahead is faith.
True to form and unbeknownst to me, my “spiritual twin brother” was also grappling with this recently in his life as well. He published a very insightful blog post earlier this week and after reading it, I could only say “Of course.” It is unbelievable the parallel universe the two of us live in (maybe someday we’ll be able to write that story for you). In the meantime, I will just keep reminding my soul of the truth until it believes it. I believe the time of “practical application” is very close at hand for us all!